Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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