just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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