I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
