worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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