i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
