they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
i think im in europe. pls send help
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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