I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
