I must be too annoying 4 u.
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
