that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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