Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize