it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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