my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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