i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
