forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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