Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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