Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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