you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
