I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
