White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
