am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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