At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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