hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
My dick has a subreddit
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
