Sry I called you an 8
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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