they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Randomize
