I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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