I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
We left the knife in your bed.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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