we have officially lost it.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
