I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
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