Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
