why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
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Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
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Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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