She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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