There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
