I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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