After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize