Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
