I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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