I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
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