I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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