Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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