I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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