You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
