in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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