I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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