I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
