i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
