So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
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you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
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I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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