i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
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My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
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Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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