my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
