basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Randomize
