i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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