I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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