But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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