Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
