she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
