The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Randomize
