he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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