Kareoke will never be a sober sport
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
