I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
