they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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