I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
