I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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