I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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