Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
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I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
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I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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