Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
