When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize